Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
