I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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