how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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