Please, let me fuck your mom
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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