So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize