matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone