escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here