Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
