if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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