At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
