I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
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She even gives head with a lisp.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
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just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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