i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
