Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
