just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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