i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
ok first of all what the fuck
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
