I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Your cock deserves a montage
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
