She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
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Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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