someone threw a dead crab at me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You are a genius and a whore.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize