no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
