Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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