The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
