I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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