yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
there is glitter all over my balls
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