Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
