This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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