So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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