Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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