im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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