Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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