I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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