were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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