So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
