Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
