so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
