Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
