how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Need sex. Gaining weight.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
