Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize