Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
