i will never coherently bang her
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
