My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
