We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
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i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
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Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.