no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My balls are so social today.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.