then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.