Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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