OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize