how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
