you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We have so much sex to catch up on
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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