My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
