No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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