I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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