I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
