and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She told me I should be a condom model.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
