is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
