i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize