I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
