i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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