remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm experimenting with sincerity
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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