just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize