You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
