I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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