WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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